The Ultimate Guide to Creating Your Wedding Guest List
Who to Invite to Your Wedding (And Who Not To): A Practical Guide for Building Your Guest List
One of the most exciting—and stressful—parts of wedding planning is creating your guest list. Deciding who gets an invite (and who doesn’t) can quickly become overwhelming, especially when you’re balancing budgets, family expectations, and venue limits. So how do you decide?
This guide will help you make smart, meaningful choices so your wedding day feels intimate, joyful, and true to you.
Start with Your Vision
Before diving into names, consider the kind of celebration you want. Is it a small, intimate gathering or a big, all-out party? Your vision will shape your guest list, and vice versa.
Micro Wedding: 20–50 guests
Mid-size Wedding: 50–120 guests
Large Wedding: 120+ guests
Once you and your partner are aligned, the list-building becomes much clearer.
Who Should You Invite?
Here’s a good starting point:
1. Immediate Family
This includes parents, siblings, and grandparents. Even for the smallest weddings, these are typically non-negotiables.
2. Close Friends
Ask yourself: Have I spoken to this person in the last year? Would I be excited to see them at my wedding? If yes, they’re probably invite-worthy.
3. Your Inner Circle of Extended Family
Aunts, uncles, cousins you’re close with—include those you genuinely have a relationship with. You’re not obligated to invite every relative.
4. Your Partner’s Equivalents
If you invite your cousin, they can invite theirs. Aim for fairness between both families to avoid awkwardness.
5. People Who’ve Supported Your Relationship
Think: your mutual friend who introduced you, the couple who double-dated with you often, or the roommate who watched you fall in love.
Who Doesn’t Need an Invite?
This is where it gets tricky, but being clear and consistent helps.
1. Co-Workers (Unless You're Truly Close)
If you wouldn’t spend time with them outside of work, it’s okay to leave them off the list.
2. Plus-Ones for Everyone
Only give plus-ones to guests in long-term or serious relationships. It’s not rude—it’s practical.
3. Kids
If you’re having a child-free wedding, be firm but kind in your communication. Most guests will understand.
4. People You Haven’t Spoken to in Years
Just because they were at your 16th birthday doesn’t mean they need to be at your wedding. Time and connection matter.
5. “Obligation” Guests
This includes people you feel pressured to invite (your dad’s golf buddy or your mom’s co-worker). If you don't know them well and space is tight, it’s okay to say no.
How to Handle Sticky Situations
Parents Want More Guests? Set boundaries early. Offer a set number of invites for each set of parents if they’re contributing.
What About the “B-List”? It’s okay to have one—but manage it carefully. Send out your first round early, so you have time to invite more if people decline.
Uninvited Friends Ask Questions? Be honest but kind: “We’re keeping the guest list small, and we had to make some tough decisions. I hope you understand.”
Quick Decision Flow: Should You Invite Them?
Have you spoken to them in the last year?
Would you be genuinely happy to see them on your wedding day?
Do they support your relationship?
Are they important to one of you or both?
If the answer is mostly “no”—it’s okay to leave them off.
Final Thoughts
Your wedding day is about celebrating your love with the people who matter most. It’s not about pleasing everyone or following outdated expectations. It’s okay to prioritize your comfort, your vision, and your budget.
Be thoughtful, be kind—but also be firm. The people who truly love you will understand, invited or not.
